I have to start out by saying that all along, our son has always been respectful, in spite of his addiction. In fact, I know he doesn't come around when he's using because he is filled with shame and guilt. I think these are also the reasons he doesn't ask us for help. He's always been strong willed and I think that he'd like to show us that he can quit on his own. I could be wrong about all this, but he is, after all, my son.
Since we moved him out of our rental house 3 months ago, we've seen him twice and he's called about 4 times. The first time that we saw him, we tracked him down through phone calls and just showed up at the house he was at and took him to lunch. After lunch we asked if he wanted to come home with us, or if he wanted us to drop him back off where he was staying. He said that he wanted to come home, but wanted to feel better first. It was obvious during lunch that he was not high(either trying to quit again, or just in between fixes, as he was flu-like) The other time we saw him, he came over to visit with us before we went out of state for my FIL's funeral. This time he had slightly heavy eyelids, but other than that, his behavior was totally fine. He always tears up/cries as we are saying our good-byes. Hubby and I always tell him we love him and that we are here for him to help him in anyway. He always says, "I know, thank you."
The part I'd like feedback on is this, we get the itch to go find him when we haven't heard from him. Is it wrong to go searching? I don't mean to the point of insanity where we are obsessed with finding him. But is it okay, if we get a lead, to go find him so we can hug him and tell him we love him, take him to lunch if he wants? I know there is no right or wrong, but I'd like input. I've heard it said that sometimes addicts need to feel that they are alone and have NO ONE before seeking help, but, I don't know...
Thanks for reading,
3 days ago