Inspirational Prayer of the Day

Sunday, September 27, 2009

It happened...

He relapsed. 85 days in recovery, and he's now back to square one.

I'm too tired to blog my thoughts. Plus, you all know how I feel. Sad, angry, disappointed, overwhelmed, confused, and so on... But, you know what? I'm also thankful for a few things- like the fact that he was not home when he relapsed, and that he came clean to his house manager about relapsing, and I'm thankful that he's safe.

I will not give up hope and I will never give up on my son. I will, however, work on taking things one day at a time, maybe it will soften the next blow. To me, it's like hearing a loved one's cancer has come back- you always know it's a possibility but you're still devastated to hear that it's actually happened. There's no way around that.

Thanks for listening and thank you for all your last comments- I so appreciate the support, input and sharing from all of you- it helps- A LOT.

14 comments:

  1. Every period of sobriety is a building block.

    Take care of yourself.

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  2. I got your comment today and thanks for reading/ supporting me! I read your entire blog and about 6 others within the past 2 weeks so everything is a bit scrambled right now. I'm really sorry to hear about your son's relapse and if you ever need to chat, my e-mail is sherrylachelle@hotmail.com.

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  3. I like what Lou said. When my daughter has relapsed I was so happy to know that it was *her* journey at this point. It had nothing to do with me. It was her job to get back on track if that was what she chose...or not. All I could do was place her in God's hands and let them work it out.

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  4. I also agree with Lou, every single time there is a period of sobriety, it is one step closer in their recovery process. I also appreciate your comparison of cancer and relapse, it makes it clear how difficult it is when our loved ones relapse. My email is at my blog if you ever need to talk.

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  5. I totally agree with Lou, Annette, and Mom of Opiate. We were told just days ago: "Do not rob her/him of their "bottom", for that is when recovery and healing will begin.

    May God show you His PEACE today!

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  6. Thinking of you - he had the 85 days and I envy your knowing that it can happen again. I hope that he keeps moving forward and that you stay strong

    ~hugs~

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  7. i am so grateful today and i pray that your son makes it. i am so glad that you are ok, now you need to process what you are going through and do everything possible to take care of you.

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  8. Oh Sweetie, I am sorry. You sound like you are handling it with the best attitude possible. The pattern I see happening when I talk to former addicts is that this is all part of the process but it will one day END. I just wish it would end soon for all our children.

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  9. Reading your post made my heart stop, because my son is at the same level (about 75 days clean this time around), and because he is on his 4th rehab, I know that relapse is likely. I so agree with Lou that each period of rehab and recovery builds on the next period of recovery. My niece just passed her first time ever 1 year clean, after dealing with major addiction for more than 10 years. My brother and his wife have always said that each time she went through rehab/recovery they saw improvement, even though she relapsed. This is why they could continue to have hope. The really good news in this scenario is that he immediately went to his house manager and that really is a terrific sign. Hang in there, your approach is about your health and well being and your son continues to be responsible for his health and well being, and he demonstrated that by how he handled his own relapse. Your remain in my thoughts and prayers.

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  10. It is so debilitating when a mother learns that their child has relapsed. I'm so sorry. We feel so optimistic when they do so well in a professional treatment environment. It's when they get back into the real world, that the true test begins. This is so hard, Mom. You are not alone. I'm here-- right in your hometown. I'd love to give you a genuine hug, and you can cry with me. We must never give up. We keep praying. He can find sobriety. I've had many addicts reassure me of that.

    Blessings, love and prayer,
    Debby

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  11. Thank you for following my blog. I'm new at this, and I really appreciate it. I'm so sorry to read your post. I won't go into all of the details here, but my son has issues with anger. It is much worse when he drinks. A few years ago, he was out of control, the drinking was out of control and I spent 2 years waiting...for the phone to ring, for the police to show up, to find out where he was...waiting. He went to a rehab once for a month. It was the first time I could sleep through the night. I can't say I've been where you are, but I can say I understand the feelings. We've been lucky. He's grown up quite a bit and given up some bad habits. I didn't think there was hope, but there was. I also got tougher, I had to, to survive. Hang in there.

    Sue

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  12. Oh CL, I got a stomach ache when I saw this. Mostly because it reminds me what I've put my family through, and how many times they've felt the way you do right now.

    I can honestly say that one of the things in my life that is most dear to me is the support of my family, and their belief (despite my mistakes) that I will continue to get better. Lou is very right - every period of sobriety is an important piece of growth and progress. Coming clean about a relapse is a huge deal - in my recovery I believe it is a significant change in my overall attitude towards the addiction.

    My prayers are with you and I hope that you find yourself surrounded by people who can support you, and help you hold on to the truth that recovery is possible with time and effort.

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  13. I am sorry to hear that your son relapsed. Hopefully, he heard something though during his period of sobriety that will like a flame. It may be just a little spark in the back of his mind but maybe it will flourish and he will make a decision to live life sober instead of stoned. I hope that you will take care of you.

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  14. I'm so sorry to hear this. Everyone has made comments already that I find myself nodding in agreement with.... Please know that I care, and I'm praying. This is a significant step on his journey, though a heartbreaking one for you, Mom. I'm so glad he was strong enough to be truthful to his house manager. To me, that seems huge.

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