Tuesday, December 8, 2009

My Cat

Most of you can relate to the fog that we sometimes find ourselves in when dealing with addiction in our families. Some days I feel really on top of my game and other days, not so much. For the most part I'm doing well and attending meetings weekly.

I'll share a little story...

The other day I was doing something in the backyard and saw our cat heading towards me, he was coming from the woods. I called his name and opened the gate for him. He was coming towards me with gusto and enthusiasm, when something distracted him and he didn't even stop and contemplate me any further, he just changed his path and appeared to be on a mission- in the opposite direction. I stood there with the gate still open, feeling sad because basically our cat never comes "home," anymore.

We did a major remodel a year ago, I moved up to our cabin during this time and hubby pretty much lived in the remodel mess. Needless to say, the noise of the building didn't sit real well with our cat and he was soon spending time at the neighbor's house. The neighbor and I talked and she was happy to have him there. He's always been an independent cat and I really didn't stress about the matter.

Fast forward 6 months, the remodel done- and countless times we've tried to get our cat to come into the house and he's not taking to it! I was heart broken and guess what? Being the good codie that I am, I felt extremely guilty that my cat no longer had a home. But, he did have a home, he just wasn't interested in being there!

Back to the other day as I stood there holding the gate open for my cat to, once again, come home- I felt the tears well up, not for my beloved cat so much, but for my son. You see, my son has also returned "home," but will not actually "come home." He's been in our town since Thanksgiving and we haven't heard from him since his car ride up here on the 24th. We just assumed we'd be seeing him. I've seen some activity on a social networking site, so I know he's still here. I just miss him. I'm not taking it personal that he's not seeing us, I know his addiction is keeping him from us.

Just like my cat, my son has always been easily distracted from the path he needs to be on...


  1. i read that 2nd paragraph and related it immediately to your son. you calling him home, he comes running and then suddenly- poof he goes the other way. surrender and acceptance really does help. to surrender the situation means we give up our illusion of control of it, to accept it means we get some serenity back. we do not have to like a situation to accept or surrender to it. but we will like the results of doing so.
    merry christmas!!i think you are awesome and i would be so grateful if you were my mom. i know your son someday will say this, but just in case you haven't heard it in a while i thought i would throw it out there. take care

  2. It is interesting how both the cat and your son are connected in your post. They are both easily distracted from their path but one thing is a constant...you standing at the end of their path, waiting to accept them both with love and acceptance. You are wonderful and I just loved this post.

  3. I'm sorry...I can tell it makes you sad.


  4. I hope both the cat and your son realize they have a warm welcome awaiting them at your home. I think they will both come around in time.

  5. There is a connection between a mother and child that nothing can shatter. It makes us vulnerable and we have to work all the harder to not enable our loved ones.

    I appreciate this post a lot.

    Prayers and love,

  6. Both cat and son know where your home is. Both know it is a place of unconditional love and support. Both know it will always be there for them. Let God guide them "home" when they are ready.

  7. I love this. What a beautiful analogy. I keep praying that your son will be like a homing pigeon again, and understand the value of your love for him.

    Praying for you,

  8. Appreciate you sharing. Thanks. Interesting connection indeed between the two.

  9. I think that both will find their way back to you in time. These things have to be when they are ready and God is guiding them, not us.

  10. Trust God that they both know where home is. I like what "Lou" said, as I am doing the same waiting for my daughter. It's tough to keep in mind what Syd said, but it is so true. Thank you for this insightful analogy. I like your snowflakes - they're making me cold :) lol

  11. It's so hard...to let God do the guiding. No, really that's not so hard. To me the hard part is the cutoff of communication. That's still a little bit of the stinkin'thinkin' and withholding..I believe. It happens still in my sons lives even if they aren't active in addiction. This is the process part..that takes years of work.

    Hugs and prayers to you. May God fill the aching spot in your heart...


  12. My heart hurts for you and our prayers are with you.


    Cheri and Wayne