Yesterday my son went into another inpatient program. This is his 3rd one in 2 or 3 years- I honestly am not keeping track of dates anymore. Seems when I do, it's a reflection of how I focus more on him than on me. So, for today, he's in a program and I'm thankful, very thankful.
This time is different- for me. It's not like, "Oh no, he relapsed again." The truth is he never stopped using from his last relapse. The truth is my son is a heroin addict and will struggle with it for the rest of his life. The truth is that he can get clean. The truth is that he may continue using. The truth is I cannot control or influence which path he chooses. I will always pray for him and his sobriety.
I still read all of your blogs and pray for you and your loved ones daily. I hope other parents and loved ones continue to "stumble" across our blogging community the way that I did and gain the knowledge and strength that I have- from all of you. While I would still say that having an addicted child is the worst thing that has ever happened to me, I can also say that I have found happiness again- whether my son is clean or not. It's definitely a process and I'm still working it. But, I'm happy with the progress I've made. I do attend Nar-Anon family groups and we'll attend the family support groups that this current rehab offers too, but I'm not addicted to attending meetings either. I just do what I feel helps me and what I feel is right. There is no right or wrong, and I no longer let what others do influence what's best for me in my recovery. I am growing.
Happy Spring! I always associate Spring with new beginnings and I pray that we all see each day as a new beginning.
God Bless us all,
5 weeks ago