Saturday, March 20, 2010

Update

Yesterday my son went into another inpatient program. This is his 3rd one in 2 or 3 years- I honestly am not keeping track of dates anymore. Seems when I do, it's a reflection of how I focus more on him than on me. So, for today, he's in a program and I'm thankful, very thankful.

This time is different- for me. It's not like, "Oh no, he relapsed again." The truth is he never stopped using from his last relapse. The truth is my son is a heroin addict and will struggle with it for the rest of his life. The truth is that he can get clean. The truth is that he may continue using. The truth is I cannot control or influence which path he chooses. I will always pray for him and his sobriety.

I still read all of your blogs and pray for you and your loved ones daily. I hope other parents and loved ones continue to "stumble" across our blogging community the way that I did and gain the knowledge and strength that I have- from all of you. While I would still say that having an addicted child is the worst thing that has ever happened to me, I can also say that I have found happiness again- whether my son is clean or not. It's definitely a process and I'm still working it. But, I'm happy with the progress I've made. I do attend Nar-Anon family groups and we'll attend the family support groups that this current rehab offers too, but I'm not addicted to attending meetings either. I just do what I feel helps me and what I feel is right. There is no right or wrong, and I no longer let what others do influence what's best for me in my recovery. I am growing.

Happy Spring! I always associate Spring with new beginnings and I pray that we all see each day as a new beginning.

God Bless us all,
~ChaiLatte

16 comments:

  1. I like your attitude :) Thanks for posting an update. I keep you and your son in my prayers daily.
    God bless.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm glad you have found some peace. Your words..."I just do what I feel helps me and what I feel is right. There is no right or wrong, and I no longer let what others do influence what's best for me in my recovery. I am growing."...are a good reminder for us!

    I will be praying for you and your son!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Keep strong and positive when you can be so. Be kind and forgiving to yourself when things are difficult and you are unable to handle things as well as you wish you could. Remember nothing is static. Situations always change. Life's a roller coaster. Hang on and enjoy the ride. My prayers are being sent to you!

    ReplyDelete
  4. You and your posts have meant so much to me, so I'm relieved that your focus is on you now. I will keep you and your son in my prayers, and I will not give up Hoping for him. Each rehab, each try at getting and staying clean is a step in the right direction.

    ReplyDelete
  5. You have been a beacon of hope to me so many times and your support and wisdom have helped me immensely in my journey. Good for you taking care of you! I am happy to hear your son is in a recovery program and will be praying that this time will be it for him. (((HUGS)))

    ReplyDelete
  6. You have such a good outlook. You've always been such a big inspiration to me and continue to be. Lets hope he chooses to be clean this time. If not, stay on your path of growth and strength.

    Happy Spring!

    ReplyDelete
  7. It is important to acknowledge the fact that there is nothing given to us that we cannot overcome:> All these are just test of our characters and I believe that you have what it takes to simply overcome this with strength confidence and not mention with beauty still.
    I wish you and son well...

    ReplyDelete
  8. I am really sorry that he has continued to use. But I like that you are doing your best to take care of yourself and keep the focus on you. Spring is a hopeful time for all.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Just dropping by to introduce myself. My son is a recovering cocaine addict and I look forward to following your blog. Have a good one!

    ReplyDelete
  10. God bless you. All you can do is hope and pray that sobriety becomes something that is important to him at some point. Take care and know that you are cared for!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I am happy that you can find peace in this crazy world. I actually feel such relief the whole time my son is in-patiant. It's when he gets out that I have to re-evaluate how I am feeling. I really hope to get where you are very soon. Can I add you to my blog roll?

    ReplyDelete
  12. Thanks for sharing your heart with us! You seem to be doing well, in spite of circumstances beyond your control.

    You are in our prayers,

    Cheri

    ReplyDelete
  13. Your recovery is shining! I am new to your blog and have a daughter who is a heroin addict. Thank you for sharing your experience, strength and hope with us!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Spring is beautiful, needed, vital. I have to believe in new beginnings, and I'm glad that you can too. Sorry to hear about your son, but glad he's in a rehab. The programs I've been in were very helpful, when I chose to listen. Glad to hear that you're not keeping track of dates but living in the moment. Blessings-

    ReplyDelete
  15. Hello,

    I'm a former heroin addict who has been reading your blog for a while. I just wanted to say, please don't buy the 'once an addict, always an addict line'. Sure, it's true that heroin addiction will be a daily struggle for some people (for the rest of their lives), however it doesn't have to be.

    I haven't used for over 10 years and to be honest, I never think about scoring. I've moved on in my life and I am in such a different place that using seems pointless and completely unappealing.

    I went on methadone and slowly tapered down over a period of 12 months. I didn't attend NA or any religious doctrine. I simply decided that I wanted more out of life. Once that decision is made, it's obvious that using can't be a part of that.

    I wish all the best for you and your son. Don't give up! It's not unrealistic to think that he might wake up one day, make a decision and never use again. Believe me, it can and does happen.

    Jason

    ReplyDelete
  16. I just found you through the blog sphere and wanted to say I am glad you have found happiness again, despite what is going on in our childrens world - being able to recover ourselves and live life again is something I am grateful for.

    ReplyDelete