Friday, October 23, 2009


Hard to believe it's been almost a month since I last blogged. Once again, all of your comments were very meaningful to me and they gave me the strength I needed. I so appreciate all of you.

I've been doing a lot of reflecting this month. I now realize how high my expectations were for my son- that was evident in my feelings when he relapsed. I've been working on having hope, but not expectations. Sometimes it feels like a gray area, but I think I'm getting it... I also had to deal with my anger- that one surprised me- but it did surface. My roller coaster of emotions after his relapse proved to me how co-dependent I still am. I have not fully detached. I'm still a work in progress!

Son's house manager said he was going to be more hands on with our son. He said that they all let their guard down because he was doing so well. This is not to blame them whatsoever, but I liked hearing that they'll be more hands on with him. Son has chosen to stay there for another 90 days, which we are very thankful for! I'd like to see it stretched to a year, if possible. I just think with his age, the longer in recovery the better.

We get to see our son this Sunday. It's been 10 weeks since we've seen him. His 30 days aren't quite up, but they made an exception as they feel we are important to his recovery. My husband has been writing son a letter almost every single night. I think it's good therapy for my husband and we've been told that son lights up from all the mail he gets.

I thank God for how He continues to work in my life. His grace amazes me!


  1. So happy to hear you will see your son. Yes, it's easy to get caught up in our expectations. I struggle with that all the time. When I used to hear people say "relapse is part of the recovery", I now realize I figured my son wouldn't be one of "them". You are fortunate your son is getting 90 days-- and, yes, a year would be wonderful. How I wish we could have afforded that for my own son. As of now, I have no idea how B is doing. I wait, I pray, I hope.
    Your husband writing a letter-- very sweet, and very therapeutic, too.

    I really hope we can finally meet. We live in the same town! We share the same hairdresser!
    Please, call me so we can set a date. I can wait, of course. You have much going on.

    Praying for you,

  2. Sounds like you and your son are where so many families wish they were - right in the middle of recovery.

  3. In a perfect world everyone would get at least a year in a structured environment. With opiate addicts I would like to see 2 years.

  4. I also have a past post about expectations and it continues to be one of my biggest struggles in my own recovery. So happy you will get to visit your son and the support of his father is so important. I agree with Lou on the time frame for opiate addicts, but right now, at least he is doing 90 days which is more than I can say for my boy. We have missed you, God Bless.

  5. So happy for you that you get to see your son, and also so sad that he relapsed.

    Please know that you and yours are in our prayers.


  6. I'm so sorry but at least he was still there and he will know he must be dependent on the Lord every day of his life.